In an era where people are meeting dates and taking life vows on national TV reality dating shows like The Bachelor and Millionaire Matchmaker, it’s easy to see why millions of singles think that finding love is as easy as putting instant coffee in water. We’ll just throw these singles in a room, ask them a few questions and viola! Instant couple, instant love, in all of three dates. As the public is swept up in this false hope of effortless romance, they fail to take into account what happens once the cameras stop rolling-most of those ‘couples’ don’t last two weeks! If people make the connection between the dating process and the break-up, they should realize that dating is not actually easy, and while these contestants may have dates placed in front of them, the outcomes have proved that without the dating skills, these quasi relationships will fizzle. And it is that essential element that a Dating Coach provides.
Dating Coaches are coaches who work with clients to achieve success in their love lives by improving their dating skills and helping them overcome personal issues holding them back. Hiring a Dating Coach is not only a wise move; it can be an essential move for many people. People hire a coach for much less important areas of their life like guitar-playing, losing weight, and singing, so it shouldn’t come as a surprise that more men and women are seeking the assistance of a Dating Coach to improve the most important aspect of our lives. The following are some tell-tale signs that you should look into hiring a Coach.
1. You can’t seem to get past the first date or a series of dates.
I see it time and time again. A man asks a woman out, goes on the date, everything seems great, then…no suddenly their date becomes one of Copperfield’s famous disappearing acts. You have no idea what went wrong. Well, everyone has their blind spots, and there could be something, or a series of things, that you do on dates that turn the other party off. A Dating Coach can shine the light on those blind spots and give you the skill set so that you’ll never get a disconnected number again. If you do find yourself in this pattern of first-date-only syndrome, I suggest you seek assistance as soon as you notice it. I had a client who came to me at age 58, and he still could not get past the first few dates-never had a relationship his entire life.
2. You’ve never had a long-term relationship.
A Long term relationship is typically six months or over, and implies exclusivity and a high degree of intimacy within a couple. If you are age 25 or over and have never had a relationship past a few months, you should probably take heed to this. This may mean there are personal issues holding you back from getting into (or maintaining) a relationship, such as low self-esteem, codependency, or ‘commitment-phobia.’ By age 30, it’s definitely time to have another party take a look into it.
3. You get overly nervous and under-confident when around the opposite sex or on dates.
It’s normal to get a few butterflies when you’re on a date, but when anxiety dampens your date or paralyzes you at the thought of conversing with the opposite sex, there’s an issue present. A Dating Coach [http://www.sandiegodating-coach.com/] can help you learn strategies to reduce your anxiety and heighten your overall confidence, so you never have to have to be a victim of anxiety again.
4. You always seem to date the wrong kind of people.
Do always date the ‘Bad Boy’ or the mean girl who cuts you down? Do you often find yourself in the same dead-end relationships? It is actually in our biology to be drawn to a certain type of person. But, (surprise!) if we date the same types of people, it’s going to have the same outcome. We must first become aware of the type of people that we are drawn to, and determine whether they are good for us or destructive. If they are destructive, we’ve got to change the pattern or you’ll always end up disappointed. A Dating Coach can help you discover what your type is and teach you how to break free of the pattern in order to make smart, healthy relationship choices.
5. You haven’t been on a date in several months.
Everyone gets in a rut sometimes. Some people call it a ‘dry spell.’ But dates are not going to find you. If you want to have a relationship, you need to take action, go out and get it. Even if you are a workaholic, there are ways to fit time into your week for dating. A Dating Coach can help you set up a strategic action plan to get you more dates in a more efficient manner, as well as streamline your life to make room for dating and relationships.
In all reality, dating is a challenge at any age, unlike what reality shows imply. It can be stressful, frustrating, and often lonely. Due to frequent negative experiences, many people simply give up and lose hope, figuring that a partner will eventually find them at some point. But why leave it up to chance? If you feel you are unsuccessful at dating or you simply want improvement in that area, those issues are not going to change on their own. Waiting will only result in more heartache and more gray hair, like my former client. My advice is to seek assistance when you’re reasonably young, and you’ll enjoy a long, successful future in dating.
DeAnna Lorraine is an author, speaker and Dating Coach to professionals and entrepreneurs of Southern California. She assists them by giving them the skills, knowledge and motivation they need to enhance the most important area of their lives and carry the same success they have in their careers over to dating and relationships. Her extensive knowledge of the opposite sex, one-of-a-kind programs and unique approach to solving dating issues puts her in a league of her own. Her company, The San Diego Dating Coach [http://sandiegodating-coach.com/] offers more information on her exclusive coaching and consulting services.
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