Can’t Get Past The First Date? Hire A Dating Coach

In an era where people are meeting dates and taking life vows on national TV reality dating shows like The Bachelor and Millionaire Matchmaker, it’s easy to see why millions of singles think that finding love is as easy as putting instant coffee in water. We’ll just throw these singles in a room, ask them a few questions and viola! Instant couple, instant love, in all of three dates. As the public is swept up in this false hope of effortless romance, they fail to take into account what happens once the cameras stop rolling-most of those ‘couples’ don’t last two weeks! If people make the connection between the dating process and the break-up, they should realize that dating is not actually easy, and while these contestants may have dates placed in front of them, the outcomes have proved that without the dating skills, these quasi relationships will fizzle. And it is that essential element that a Dating Coach provides.

Dating Coaches are coaches who work with clients to achieve success in their love lives by improving their dating skills and helping them overcome personal issues holding them back. Hiring a Dating Coach is not only a wise move; it can be an essential move for many people. People hire a coach for much less important areas of their life like guitar-playing, losing weight, and singing, so it shouldn’t come as a surprise that more men and women are seeking the assistance of a Dating Coach to improve the most important aspect of our lives. The following are some tell-tale signs that you should look into hiring a Coach.

1. You can’t seem to get past the first date or a series of dates.

I see it time and time again. A man asks a woman out, goes on the date, everything seems great, then…no suddenly their date becomes one of Copperfield’s famous disappearing acts. You have no idea what went wrong. Well, everyone has their blind spots, and there could be something, or a series of things, that you do on dates that turn the other party off. A Dating Coach can shine the light on those blind spots and give you the skill set so that you’ll never get a disconnected number again. If you do find yourself in this pattern of first-date-only syndrome, I suggest you seek assistance as soon as you notice it. I had a client who came to me at age 58, and he still could not get past the first few dates-never had a relationship his entire life.

2. You’ve never had a long-term relationship.

A Long term relationship is typically six months or over, and implies exclusivity and a high degree of intimacy within a couple. If you are age 25 or over and have never had a relationship past a few months, you should probably take heed to this. This may mean there are personal issues holding you back from getting into (or maintaining) a relationship, such as low self-esteem, codependency, or ‘commitment-phobia.’ By age 30, it’s definitely time to have another party take a look into it.

3. You get overly nervous and under-confident when around the opposite sex or on dates.

It’s normal to get a few butterflies when you’re on a date, but when anxiety dampens your date or paralyzes you at the thought of conversing with the opposite sex, there’s an issue present. A Dating Coach [http://www.sandiegodating-coach.com/] can help you learn strategies to reduce your anxiety and heighten your overall confidence, so you never have to have to be a victim of anxiety again.

4. You always seem to date the wrong kind of people.

Do always date the ‘Bad Boy’ or the mean girl who cuts you down? Do you often find yourself in the same dead-end relationships? It is actually in our biology to be drawn to a certain type of person. But, (surprise!) if we date the same types of people, it’s going to have the same outcome. We must first become aware of the type of people that we are drawn to, and determine whether they are good for us or destructive. If they are destructive, we’ve got to change the pattern or you’ll always end up disappointed. A Dating Coach can help you discover what your type is and teach you how to break free of the pattern in order to make smart, healthy relationship choices.

5. You haven’t been on a date in several months.

Everyone gets in a rut sometimes. Some people call it a ‘dry spell.’ But dates are not going to find you. If you want to have a relationship, you need to take action, go out and get it. Even if you are a workaholic, there are ways to fit time into your week for dating. A Dating Coach can help you set up a strategic action plan to get you more dates in a more efficient manner, as well as streamline your life to make room for dating and relationships.

In all reality, dating is a challenge at any age, unlike what reality shows imply. It can be stressful, frustrating, and often lonely. Due to frequent negative experiences, many people simply give up and lose hope, figuring that a partner will eventually find them at some point. But why leave it up to chance? If you feel you are unsuccessful at dating or you simply want improvement in that area, those issues are not going to change on their own. Waiting will only result in more heartache and more gray hair, like my former client. My advice is to seek assistance when you’re reasonably young, and you’ll enjoy a long, successful future in dating.

DeAnna Lorraine is an author, speaker and Dating Coach to professionals and entrepreneurs of Southern California. She assists them by giving them the skills, knowledge and motivation they need to enhance the most important area of their lives and carry the same success they have in their careers over to dating and relationships. Her extensive knowledge of the opposite sex, one-of-a-kind programs and unique approach to solving dating issues puts her in a league of her own. Her company, The San Diego Dating Coach [http://sandiegodating-coach.com/] offers more information on her exclusive coaching and consulting services.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/expert/Deanna_Lorraine/183729

 

Asking for a Date

Whether a date’s spontaneous or planned, the first or the last date, or you’re young or old, sooner or later, going out with someone comes to this: Somebody has to ask for the date.

No matter how much or how little you plan (and regardless of your reputation, your Aunt Sylvia, the knot in your stomach, the advice of your friends, your New Year’s resolution, or your success with dating or lack thereof) nobody, with the possible exception of Adam, ever made a date without asking for it. I bet that even with God as the go-between, sooner or later Eve expected Adam to pony up and find the courage to ask if they could take a walk in Paradise, and if he didn’t, well, it explains a lot about the snake, don’t you think?

Face it, the only thing scarier than the first date is asking for the first date. But if you can remember that you’re not looking for a cure for cancer, that you won’t die even if he or she says “yes,” and that life as we know it will continue no matter what your potential date’s response, you may relax enough to actually (gulp) ask for a date.

Gazillions of perfectly normal (and lots of less than normal) people have all gotten nervous about asking for a date. You and I and everybody else are connected to a long line of sweating, nervous, stuttering, tongue-tied souls, and even the slick ones feel anxious on the inside about asking for a date. Do you feel better? No? Well, I was afraid of that. Never fear – in this chapter, I tell you some things that should comfort you in the asking, help you in the consummation, and protect you from any possible devastation beyond a teensy pinch on the ego.

Risking Rejection

The First Rule to asking for a date is this: No guts, no glory. The worst-case scenario is that the prospective date says no. At that point, you’re no worse off than you are at this very moment.

Rejection is definitely not fun, but a rejection is only one person’s opinion of you. You don’t like everyone, and not everyone is going to like you. If someone says no, then he or she misses out on getting to know how truly terrific you are.

Rejection can be the beginning of opportunity. Scads of hugely successful people just wouldn’t take no for an answer. Think about Fred Astaire: When he first went to Hollywood, a talent scout wrote, “Big ears, too skinny, big nose, can dance a little.” Many famous beauties and stars in many fields had to cope with someone’s negative opinion of them – nobody hasn’t faced rejection.

The question is: Are you going to let it get you down? Of course not! Alexander the Great probably conquered the world by the age of 30 because some shortsighted lass turned him down – maybe because he was too intense or short or something. Maybe that rejection made him want to make more than most

Grecians earn. (It’s a pun; say it out loud – but definitely don’t use it until the fourth or fifth date or after you’re married or your last kid leaves for college or your hearing has gone.)

Rejection means that that person says no but not that everyone will. You need to realize when no is no, when someone’s showing absolutely no interest. If someone consistently says no when you ask for a date, it’s okay to say, “Look, I hear that you’re not interested, and I don’t want to be a pest. If you ever change your mind, here’s my number,” or “I’ll call you in a year,” but then for heaven’s sake, don’t call any sooner than that. With time, the sting really does go away.

Conversely, if you really don’t want to go out with someone, don’t say, “Maybe” or “Call me next week.” Just say, “Thank you for asking, but it’s just not possible.” Remember that the world is a very small place. You may change your mind, or that person you turn down may marry your best friend or be in a position to hire you someday. There is no reason to ever hurt someone whose only sin is being interested in you, so be gentle but firm.

Rejection isn’t gender specific. It’s not any easier for guys to face rejection than it is for women. We’ve just programmed men for power, and asking someone out is boss, even if the whole experience is tinged with fear. Either sex can feel more powerful by taking the initiative and asking someone out.

A brush-off with style

The coolest rejection I ever got was from a guy who told me that he’d just gotten a call from an old girlfriend. He said, “She’s reemerged in my life, and I need to see where it goes. I’ll either marry her and invite you to the wedding, or I’d like to finally put it to rest. No matter what happens, I’d like to be able to call you.” Cool, huh?

Biology has nothing to do with the ability to tolerate possible rejection. Women, if you’ve never asked a guy out, you should do it for your own liberal education. Guys love it. However, they may think you’re hotter to trot (sexually) than you really are, so take that into consideration.

If you’re afraid of rejection, you may miss out on a lot in this life, which is pretty darned short as it is. See if you can put that angst away, take the chip off your shoulder, and go for it.

Improving Your Odds

When asking for a date, having a plan is crucial, but you’ve got to stay a little loose. The more structured you are, the more dependent you are on meshing well with a stranger. Therefore, you need to read the signs, stay loose, and keep things light, flexible, and open. You can seriously improve the chances of getting a yes if you keep these tips in mind when you ask for a date.

Never ask for a first date for a Friday or Saturday night

These two main, big, serious date nights are too important a place to start. Asking for a first date on a Friday or Saturday is like playing at Wimbledon without a tennis lesson or having ever played on grass or at all. Even people who don’t have dates and haven’t had one for ages are often loathe to admit their plight to a stranger (and if you haven’t had a first date, you’re still strangers).

Start off with a Wednesday or Thursday night, which are nights when people generally don’t have much planned. Also avoid Mondays like the plague. Everybody hates Mondays.

Never say, “Would you like to go out sometime?”

If you phrase the invitation like this and the askee says “no,” you’ve left yourself absolutely no out except to be swallowed up by a prayed-for earthquake.

If the person says “yes,” you still have to ask him or her out. Yikes. Instead, be specific. It’s much better to say, “I’d love to see the new exhibit at the museum. Any interest in going either Wednesday or Thursday?” You offer a specific opportunity (as well as alternative days) and at the same time, you give your potential date a great deal of room in which to negotiate without sounding wishy-washy or desperate. Giving specifics also allows your potential date a couple of seconds to think about it, rather than getting caught completely off guard.

Always offer options about the date

Options can include the day, time, activity, and transportation. Options make you sound organized without being bossy or rigid, as long as you keep them limited. Offering a few choices at the outset makes you sound less panicky than you would if you were to offer them after the potential date says no to your initial suggestion.

If you’re specific about the date and your potential date doesn’t like the suggested activity but does like you, you can modify your plan.

Also, although a plan with several separate possibilities requires more work on your part, it offers a better chance of success – and a chance to figure out whether your potential date has any interest in you. After all, if you’ve offered all options regarding place, time, date, activity, and so on and the answer is still no, the problem is as clear as the writing on the wall, and you’ve hit the wall. Take a deep breath and move on. It’s not the end of the world, just this potential date. Scary but efficient.

By offering to meet there, go in separate cars, or pick her up, you instantly show yourself to be considerate, capable, and sensitive to the fact that females have heard horror stories about being abducted by a date and never seen again.Although you’re not Jack the Ripper, understanding that she may feel a little uneasy about being in a car with a stranger makes you a liberated and cool guy for thinking like a modern woman. You will score major points.

In the initial stages of dating, people sometimes want so much to be liked that they agree to things at the expense of their integrity. If your potential date has enough sense to say, “I’d love to do something with you, just not mud wrestling,” then give that person a gold star. Don’t be offended – be pleased. You have just found someone with brains, courage, and honesty.

Remember that timing is everything

Don’t ask for tomorrow or next year. A basic rule is to ask for a first date a week to ten days in advance, but you can break this rule with impunity as the need arises. You can ignore these guidelines if the spirit moves you to be spontaneous. For example, “Hey, got time for an ice cream cone?” can get you an immediate yes; you can also expand this invitation to a “maybe next week” if you get a no.

Now is always a better time to ask than later because your courage may diminish over time. There are some obvious exceptions to this rule: Don’t ask someone who is in a crisis (never ask for a date at a funeral), just getting out of a relationship (never ask for a date at a divorce hearing, even if the person isn’t one of the parties involved; it’s bad karma), or going through any other experience when you may appear to be exploiting a weakness. You need to take the other person’s life situation into account as well.

Always go for it if you’re having a good hair or anything else day

You’re cuter when you’re happy, and self-confidence is sexy. Don’t get into the “well, today is a write-off, I may as well ask, get rejected, and make it a perfect score” mentality. You can tolerate being turned down more easily when you’re feeling strong – not to mention that rejection is a lot less likely.

Asking someone out for a first date isn’t the time to trot out your best anything, including your imagination, checkbook, or best friend. This is a time to think KISS: Keep it Simple, Sweetie. All you want to do here is send a clear and gentle but important message: I’d like to spend some time getting to know you better. Are you interested?

The Invitation: Sending the Message

You have several options when actually asking for the date. The choices may be influenced by circumstances (like distance), personality, and personal style. In general, the closer you are when you ask, the better. When you’re close to the person, you get more information, you appear more courageous, and you get some practice for the date.

Answering machine etiquette

An answering machine message, unlike an offthe- cuff remark or rumor or discussion, can be saved and replayed and misinterpreted and overanalyzed and overreacted to and thrown back in your face. Not only that, but you never know who’s going to be listening on the other end. Here are six messages never to leave on a date’s machine:

1. You’re the best I’ve ever had.

2. I never want to see you again.

3. It’s me. Give me a call.

4. Next time, we’ll go out.

5. Your mother is hot.

6 Can I have your friend’s phone number?

You can adapt any of the following methods for sending the message to your level of comfort. But be careful that you’re not hiding behind your comfort level – sooner or later, you’re going to have to get out there and actually date.

1. Asking in person: When possible, this is the best way to ask by far because seeing the person face-to-face gives you the most information. You can read body language and see whether the potential date looks pleased, terrified, God-forbid-revolted, or delighted. Based on the other person’s reaction, you can then modify your behavior accordingly or run. The disadvantage with asking in person is that it’s also the scariest for the exact same reasons. But it’s still preferred and also the friendliest technique.

2. Asking on the phone: This method gives you less information, but if you get panicky, you can always hang up before they answer (although caller ID has made hanging up without saying anything a great deal trickier). When you ask over the phone, nobody can see your palms sweating; but then again, you also can’t see your potential date’s reaction.

Never ask an answering machine for a date. It’s cowardly, sends the wrong message (you’re manipulating them by making them call back before you ask them out), and occasionally, the machine actually eats the message. You never know if your potential date got the message or if it was intercepted by a protective parent, a jealous ex, a careless roommate, or the Fates.

3. Asking through a third party: In elementary school, you may have asked your best friend to ask her best friend if someone liked you. You may have even eventually gotten an answer, but after Suzy told Peter, and Peter told you, were you really 100 percent sure about the answer? Third parties are a very unreliable method of information flow. When other people get involved, sometimes they add their two cents to your message. For example, what if your best friend liked me and wanted you to ask me if I’d go out on a date with him? Can you see lots of room for sabotage and miscommunication?

Remember the story of our Pilgrim forefathers, John Alden and Miles Standish? Miles was the governor who asked his best friend John to intercede on his behalf with Priscilla Mullens. Priscilla decided she liked the messenger, and Miles was left out in the cold. Don’t ask somebody else to ask for your date. The messenger may end up taking your potential date, and then not only do you still need a date but you also need a new friend.

4. Asking with a note: Even though computers have made notes faster and sexier, notes don’t offer you much information and feedback, whether they’re e-mail or snail mail (through the post office). When you ask with a note, you also don’t know the mood your potential date may be in. In addition, a note opens the opportunity for interception, misinterpretation, a delay in feedback, and a lack of flexibility. Ask anybody who’s asked for an RSVP to a written invitation, and you begin to understand the problem with asking for a date through a note. If you’re absolutely determined to ask for a date in writing, I suggest a handwritten note via the post office because it’s classier and implies more effort and concern.

A brief note here on sending a note with flowers, cigars, wine, a baseball hat, a ticket, or any gift: Sending gifts with the note is cute but tricky. You don’t want to appear to be bribing your potential date on the first date. Gifts can be a token of respect and admiration and are okay and even valuable as you’re getting to know each other, but they can be too much too soon. Besides, you don’t want to have to top yourself later and end up buying your potential date a small country by the fourth date. Start out simply.

Getting an Answer

Okey, dokey – you’ve made plans, offered options, and asked for a date. Now what? Well, either the answer is yes, you have a date, or no, you don’t. If the answer is yes, you’re flying and ready to go on to planning the old date-aroony.

Dealing with a no

If the answer is no, you have nothing to lose by asking if another day, place, time, or event would suit them. Listen to the response carefully. Often people really are tied up working late, taking care of a sick parent, getting out of a relationship, studying, or being distracted and would be willing to consider an invitation in the future, just not now.

If you’re feeling brave, you can say, “If not now, how soon?” If you’re feeling a bit vulnerable, you can say, “Let me give you my number, and you can give me a call when you’re ready.” The middle ground is to say, “Why don’t I give you a holler in a week or two and see how you’re doing?” If your potential date says fine, then do it. If he or she says “I’ll call you,” don’t hold your breath. Who needs to turn blue?

Getting some feedback

If you get a no, you may want to take a minute to try to figure out why. Make sure you haven’t gotten into some bad habits. You may need to ask yourself some tough questions. Are you too eager, too desperate, too whiny, too silly, or too tense? Is your breath okay? Do you make eye contact?

No matter how honest you think you are, give yourself some balance by asking a willing friend to critique your approach (you’ve seen it in a million movies where the hero or heroine practices in front of a mirror – no, not Travis Bickle’s “You lookin’ at me?” line). Balance your friend’s feedback with your own opinion so that you’re not being too easy or too harsh on yourself. If you mess up your careful scenario, your friend can give you some tips and hints on improving it, and you can make sense of what you meant to say or do.

Practicing can help you get a grip on your nerves. A little nervousness is flattering to the potential date because it shows that you really want to get to know him or her. Too much nervousness can panic both of you. All things considered, it’s probably even better to be a little bit nervous than so nonchalant and cool that your potential date has the sense you couldn’t care less if he or she accepts your invitation or not, because if he or she isn’t interested, no biggie, it’s not them, you’ll just move on to someone else. It’s not a terrible idea to start a first date on an honest basis. I know – don’t tell anybody I told you, and we’ll try to keep it our dirty little secret.

Dating Advice [http://www.datingsecret.org] takes one of the most complicated, anxiety-filled social rituals we have and provides the reader with an easy-to-understand handbook for success. Short of sending flowers, I can think of no better way to survive dating as we head into the 21st century!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/expert/Alexander_Putra/204224

 

How to Choose the Dating Site That Meets Your Expectations

Dating is now not a hated word even in less developed countries. Online dating services take a prominent position in today’s fast phased lifestyle. The work load and other stress factors have a serious dent on the love relationship between the couples and the parents and children. For a lot of reasons many people are left lonely. Even married people feel the loneliness because of the friction with their life partner. The lonely singles are looking for a true soul mate to share their feelings and to find some meaning to their life. The online dating services make their search comfortable by offering thousands of singles profiles.

Matching the expectations of the online daters, the dating sites are also improving day by day. Now the famous dating sites have a vast geographical reach and offer features like live web-cam chatting. To attract more members they provide free basic membership and safe environment. Paid membership in almost all the dating sites are nominal and it is worth paid to avail more attractive features and considering the fact that you are going to search your perfect soul mate.

How to choose the best dating site

Choosing a dating site depends on your family environment, place of living and your expectations and needs.There are some top most online dating services. So it is better to join the free membership of 2 or 3 internet dating sites and over the period figure out the suitable dating website that matches your expectation. It is advisable to become a paid member of the chosen dating site as you can’t get to your perfect match in a half-hearted approach. The search for a perfect match varies from person to person, each expecting some particular qualities from the would be soul mate.

The online search for dating is mostly for singles, who cares to share the intimate feelings, love and friendship. A good volume of search is for more romantic love and the search targets beautiful girls, iron men and hot women. The emotional persons are looking for a caring soul mate to pursue their marriage proposal. The dating site you choose, should serve your purpose giving you peace of mind apart from friendship, love and romance.

Ethnic Dating

The globalization has created a multi-lingual and multi-racial population in each and every country around the world. Different ethnic groups practicing different cultures form a considerable percentage of the total population in almost all of the developed countries around the world. Just searching for a soul mate in your migrated country won’t serve your purpose and ultimately the relationship may end in strain because of your poor understanding of the native culture.

Getting a dating mate from your own ethnic group will give you a long lasting and peaceful relationship. As each ethnic group forms a sizable percentage, searching for your perfect match from within the community is not a difficult task. To serve the expectations of the migrated population many online dating sites have established ethnic oriented dating sites. Getting a dating mate within your group will help you to socialize yourself in the new environment, before getting accustomed to the new culture. It avoids unnecessary friction and misunderstanding in your dating relationship. Being in an alien country all of a sudden, you would feel the isolation and it would take some years before integrating with the local population. For all that years you can’t be alone and the ethnic dating sites will solve your problem of finding your soul mate from among your own culture. There are dating sites for Asians, Black Americans, Germans, French, Chinese, Indians and so on.

Religious Dating

Religion also plays an important role in breaking relationship. People during their dating relationship won’t think too much about the practical life. If the dating relationship is just for fun and romance it’s ok, but if it is for serious love, then the dating partners should have a matured mind to end up in a peaceful married life.

Many online daters who have their dating relationship with someone from a different religion are haunted by the disapproval of their family members. Though you have every right to choose your life partner, the disapproval of someone you love will have its own problems. If you are of an emotional type and do not want to risk your relationship at home, then religious dating is advisable. The online religious dating sites host thousands and thousands of singles profiles from each religion. If you are not bold enough to face the challenges, you better opt for the religious dating, as it will give you the peace of mind you need.

On the positive side, it will be highly rewarding to have your soul mate from the same belief and culture. You can avoid being left in an isolated world of you two only, rejected by both the communities of yourself and your life partner. You both can mingle with the local community freely, if both of you belongs to the same spiritual belief. There are dating sites for Christians, Jews, Muslims and Hindus.

Exclusive Dating

The bold, not so serious and fun loving people are looking for different sources to find out their dating partner. They are bored by the traditional dating site and they are not willing to bind themselves into a frame of rules. They need friendship, love and romance and not serious enough to attach any long lasting value to the dating relationship. But they expect some qualities before making a relationship. To serve their appetite, there are exclusive dating sites like adult dating, BDSM, gay and lesbian dating. Those who are conservative can safely keep away from exclusive adult dating sites.

Not all exclusive dating sites are adult oriented. There are some exclusive dating sites to serve some specific purposes. The millionaire mate dating site is a best example of this kind. Those who harbor a desire to marry a millionaire guy or those who want to marry a millionaire lady can avail the service of such dating site. Some other dating sites in this category are Senior Friend Finder and Slim Dating site to interact with fitness savvy people.

Author Information : As there are exclusive dating sites for ethnic and religious dating, it doesn’t mean that having a dating relationship with someone from a different belief is not advisable. It depends on you to practice your belief and keep your values, no matter to which belief your dating partner belongs to. It depends on how you develop your relationship with your dating mate. If you are not so adventurous, playing safe with religious and ethnic dating sites is better. But dating with someone from other religion and culture has its own adventure.

Millionaire Mate Dating.

The author’s website presents top ranking dating sites offering free membership.Make use of the free membership offer to view the various features of some of the sites to finally choose your choice of the dating site.

Free Membership Dating Sites [http://www.onlinedatingwebsites.biz]

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/expert/Sankarapandian_S/149676

 

Interview With the Director of “My Dating School”

Q: Why did you start ‘My Dating School?’

A: I started, ‘My Dating School’ because I had many clients who were attractive, successful and happy in their work, friendships and family life, but they were frustrated that they could not find a life-mate. They kept picking the same type’ of partner with different packaging. They were frustrated because they said that they wanted one thing but kept attracting and choosing something else. I wanted to help them become more conscious and successful in their love relationships.

Q: What is your background?

A: I am a psychologist and an empowerment coach (CEC) and I specialize in dating. I started holding classes for singles around dating issues and taught a monthly class at The Learning Annex for two years in Manhattan. Then I started ‘My Dating School (http://www.mydatingschool.com ).’ I also wrote a book for singles who could not come to my classes. It has exercises and takes them on an inner journey so they can do this work from home. My book is called, ‘Dating From the Inside Out: How to Use the Law of Attraction in Matters of the Heart,’ published by Atria Books and winner of the National Best Books 2008 Award for Self-Help: relationships.

Q: What does ‘Dating From the Inside-Out’ mean?

A: ‘Dating From the Inside-Out’ means that we start creating our love relationships on the inside before we manifest them out there. If you have powerful limiting beliefs about the past or the opposite sex you will not be a happy dater no matter how much you go out or how pretty you are. This is where the books that focus upon outside things like your appearance or flirting miss the boat. The most important way to open up the possibility of love is to start from within. Only after this happens will right action follow, if there is fear there.

Q: Why would someone pay for dating classes or coaching?

A: People pay for things they value and most people value having a life mate. It makes sense to invest time, energy and money to manifest something significant and wonderful in your life. If you wanted a great job you would invest in someone to review your resume, a career coach, pay for job posting sites and invest in a good interview suit. Yet when it comes to love we mix a cocktail of hope, luck and destiny and pray that it will transform our lives, without wanting to take responsibility and do the work.

Q: How does dating coaching help singles?

A: Dating coaching helps singles figure out the necessary ingredients that create success in love. I help my clients look at their past baggage, patterns, parental blueprint, limiting beliefs and their dating ‘type’ and context. We make those conscious so they do not continue to direct their love choices. We look at who they are, what they want and what they will offer in a relationship. And lastly, we create a conscious dating action plan so they take consistent action to meet a partner who is a good fit for them.

Q: Does being a psychologist add to your power to your niche as a dating coach?

A: Many dating coaches set goals about what a client wants in a mate and helps them alter their looks, behavior and actions to meet someone. As a psychologist, I address things on a deeper level, helping clients understand why they choose the mates that they do over and over and I help them to create a relationship that is different from their past dating psychology, one that is healthier and more realistic for them.

Q: What is a ‘Defensive Dating Type’ and how would someone find out their dating type?

A: I have devised a ‘Defensive Dating Style Quiz’ in my book, ‘Dating From The Inside-Out: Using The Law of Attraction in Matters of the Heart.’ A defensive dating style is the way that you protect yourself from being hurt in love. An example would be, ‘the romantic date’ that imagines herself being married to a prospective date on their second meeting and starts planning a year ahead. She is ‘in love with love’ and does not let the relationship unfold enough to really know and love THAT person. This script protects her from being disappointed in the short-term because she will not see anything negative. Long-term it does not work because she is living in a fantasy world not in the reality of the moment with that other person. My quiz has 15 Defensive Dating Types and you can take it to see which one you have. Once you know, I make some suggestions about how to work with it, so dating can be more successful.

Q: What makes a date successful?

A: A successful date is one where both people are themselves and respect each other. It is great if you have mutual fun, chemistry and both people are kind and good listeners.

Q: Is there is a correlation between dating well and marital success?

A: According to my dating philosophy there is some correlation between dating well and marital success. To me success is not just marrying someone; it is marrying a great partner for you! Therefore, if you know yourself and are clear (and realistic) about what you most want in a partner, you will be better prepared to co-create a life with someone. Also, by dating you will be learning what you do not want and becoming aware of what you do need in relationships. Sure, marriage will present many new challenges but you will start out better prepared then people who just ‘fall in love’ and act only on chemistry and feelings. Who you marry affects everything-children, lifestyle, spirituality, finances, your sex life, job and leisure. Shouldn’t such an important choice merit some due diligence?

Q: What are the things that you have cranky daters do?

A: When clients first come to me, they are often cranky daters. They have been burned and have a negative vision of their romantic future. They hate dating because of the rejection. Often they know they have hit rock bottom and are ready to ask for help. The first thing I do is have them write out their negative beliefs about love and the opposite sex and challenge them. For example, ‘No man will want to date a woman over 37 years old.’ I have them counter this belief with facts. For example, ‘Demi Moore is dating a much younger man and plenty of women remarry after 37 years old.’ I also have them develop a positive context about relationships and marriage. My book provides these exercises that take the reader through this process so they can go from being a cranky dater to a positive one! The energy you vibrate is very important when attracting a mate. Most people will want to be around someone who is authentically positive and welcoming of love.

Q: How do clients target what they want in a prospective mate? How do you coach daters with this?

A: I help clients make a reasonable list of the qualities that they want in a partner and what they won’t accept. This helps them to move through the dating process with clarity and allows them to spend less time with the wrong mate. It also helps them get clear when they must walk away from a date, because that relationship is destructive. To learn more about this there is a corresponding exercise in my book.

Q: How can people transform dating from a miserable process to a transformative one?

People like things that add meaning and value to their lives. Many singles hate dating because it feels so random and painful. I teach that no date is a waste. You are always learning about yourself and you can do this through the dating process, and you will be more ready to find your match. My book teaches singles not to take rejection personally and how to be authentic and have fun on all dates. This powerful dating context allows singles to be present and enjoy themselves, without putting that onus on their prospective dates.

Q: What is a Dating Action Plan & how does a dating support group & a dating coaching help singles be more successful?

A: A Dating Action Plan holds you accountable for taking specific action steps on your dating goals. For example, Sally wanted to meet someone but she never went out. Her Dating Action Plan listed two things that she would do each week. A Dating Coach or support group would help her be accountable for her action commitment and would help her understand what got in her way when she did not follow through. It encouraged her to push past her fears and meet a lot of people. Today she is married.

Q: Is there anything else you’d like singles to know?

A: Often we are really hard on ourselves and putting yourself down is not helpful. Plenty of students tell me that they’re sick of being a bridesmaid and everyone else is married. They think that something is wrong with them and that’s why they have not found love. It’s true that there may be something holding them back (which my book explores) but we all have areas of our lives that present a challenge. For some it’s their work, children or health. These students are often attractive, very successful with their career, family and friends and have so much going for them–they just keep picking poor choices in love. So, I tell them to appreciate what they do have and to decide if it’s worth taking a good look to learn why their love life might present a challenge. One thing I always say in dating, ‘You might experience some rejection, but never reject yourself in the process.’ Hopefully, ‘Dating From the Inside Out’ helps my readers to love themselves right now, wherever they are in this process. To me, that’s even more important than attracting a mate!

Dr. Paulette Kouffman Sherman is the Director of ‘My Dating School, http://www.mydatingschool.com which offers classes in dating issues & coaching. She is a dating expert on television and radio, a Licensed Psychologist and a certified coach. Dr. Paulette Kouffman Sherman is a licensed psychologist, a dating coach and author of ‘Dating From the Inside Out: How to Use the Law of Attraction in Matters of the Heart’ by Atria Books, award Winner of the National ‘Best Books’ of 2008 in the category of Self-Help: Relationships. She has been a monthly speaker of The Learning Annex for over two years and was an expert on television shows such as the CBS Early Show & the AM Northwest Early Show, as well as many radio programs. She has been quoted in publications such as MSN.com, USA Weekend, Lifetime.com, Reader’s Digest, ‘Glamour,’ ‘Seventeen’ and ‘Complete Woman’ magazine.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/expert/Paulette_Sherman/146252

 

Men to Avoid Dating – A Girl’s Conversation Cheat Sheet

Are you a single woman trying to find your Mr. Right? Then you need my ‘Conversation Cheat Sheet’. It helps you avoid meeting or considering a first date with a guy who is wrong for you. My cheat sheet works best when you haven’t met the guy yet. Let’s say you’ve started talking on the phone after he’s contacted you from an internet dating site. My cheat sheet shows you how to find those red flags that tell you when the guy is “bad news”. The most important thing you must realize is that talking on the phone at length with a guy you’re considering meeting for first time or even considering a first date with after you briefly met  each, is very important if you are looking to find a potential “friend/companion with benefits, love interest, or dating partner”. Screening a guy on the phone is crucial. Why?

Well, the 1st reason you must talk at length on the phone before you meet him or date him is because you have to find out about his “attitude” about key things in his life, including his attitude about himself and the people in his life. Believe it or not, a guy’s attitude about his life is easy to detect when you talk on the phone once you know what questions to ask and how to read his attitude in his answers. And that’s why I devised this cheat sheet; to show you how to read his attitude. You can figure out his attitude about a lot of things in just a few phone conversations. And that attitude will tell you how well he will treat you, whether you are compatible, and whether he can offer you what you are looking for in a dating relationship. Find this hard to believe? Are you saying to yourself right about now, “Yeh, right, I barely got to know my boyfriend after dating him 6 months, so how will I know anything about a guy in just 2 phone conversations?” Well, most women do find out a lot about a guy’s attitude on a myriad of things in just a few phone conversations, but they do not consciously acknowledge seeing these things to themselves. That’s because they are so intent on landing a guy, that they just want him to like her and desire her. They just worry about the guy wanting them instead of focusing on whether the guy is even right for them. And that’s the problem with feeling desperate about getting a boyfriend. You make choices based on fear, and not based on truly loving and caring about yourself.

The 2nd reason you must use this cheat sheet and screen a guy on the phone is because you must get in touch with YOUR ATTITUDE ABOUT THE GUY’S ATTITUDE. Yes, believe it or not, we usually have already established in our mind subconsciously an attitude about the guy we’ve spoken to. We have reacted to his words and formed our own attitude about his attitude on life and buried it deep inside us. So, this cheat sheet is really a way for us to acknowledge what we already see about him and unearth our attitude about it. We will see if he is going to have an attitude that focuses on us and respects us and treats us well. We will frankly see our attitude about his attitude towards his ex. We will acknowledge when we don’t like his attitude about blaming his wife for everything. We will acknowledge how we feel, which is “if he can talk this way about her, he can treat us in the same disrespectful way.” We often “blindly” see red flags about the guys we date and ignore them. But when we follow the cheat sheet, we face seeing these things and don’t blindly give a guy a chance thinking this time he’ll be different with us. The truth is, for most guys, they never change how they live their life or treat women. They won’t work less, stop being promiscuous, spend less time with their kids or be less frugal with money.

One of the things women tell me when they use “the Cheat Sheet” is that they never find a guy that passes the cheat sheet test. “If I go by the cheat sheet,” then I’ll never have anyone to date” they tell me. And my answer to you is this: The cheat sheet works in miraculous ways. It helps you to eliminate many potentially bad dating partners in your life. Yes, you may have a dry spell from dating anyone for awhile, but you are also avoiding many potentially bad relationships. You may be dateless for months, passing up opportunity after opportunity with all those potentially wrong partners. And then, one day, when you are open and free and have made it clear to the universe exactly who you are looking for, that guy who passes the cheat sheet with flying colors will come into your life. Yes, you may not date as much at the beginning of using the Cheat Sheet test and that’s fine. Being selective means weeding out all those potentially wrong partners. Giving anyone a chance by dating him is just telling the universe there is something about this guy I don’t like but that’s okay. ‘”It’s okay for me to date guys that have things about them I don’ like” is the message you give the universe. Because the truth is, deep in your subconscious you are aware of the hings you don’t like about him. And that is why this type of guy keeps entering your life:  The wrong one for you that you just keep accepting.

Another reason it’s important not to meet or date a guy you’ve met right away is because, when you meet a guy and have a strong physical attraction to him, all your common sense about whether he’s right for you goes out the window. Yes, you’ll tend to overlook those red warning flags about him that will ultimately make you miserable when the sexual chemistry starts to wane in the relationship. The Cheat Sheet gives you red warning flags about a GUY’S ATTITUDE that shows whether he is capable of being a caring and giving love partner. It gets you in touch with your attitude about whether he is right for you. Most women look at statistical facts about a guy to decide if he is dating worth dating her. But statistical facts mean very little. Why? Because a guy can make $150,000 yearly and be so cheap that he acts like he earns $35,000 yearly; a guy can be a loving father with his kids and make them his whole life to the point of making you feel like “the other woman” in his life; a guy can have a great job and work day and night and never be there mentally or emotionally for you. Get the picture? It’s his attitude about money, his kids, and his job that matter. And this attitude is one he will show you when you talk on the phone, if you know how to look for it.

My Cheat Sheet covers a man’s attitude about these key areas of his life:
1) his attitude about past relationships with women including his wife
2) his attitude about work and play
3) his attitude about valuing the things you value in your life
4) his attitude about money
5) his attitude about sex and monogamy
6) his attitude about his hobbies and addictions
7) his attitude about his kids
8) his attitude about himself and his life in general .

There is a lot you can tell about a guy’s attitude in the key areas of his life from just a few conversations with him, without getting into details and facts about his life. Most guys are very transparent about their attitude towards women, work, money, sex, their kids, and you. It’s his attitude about these things that matter more than the facts about them. Knowing his attitude about these things just takes a few phone conversations, when you know what to talk about and focus on. And a few phone calls is a whole lot better than going out on an uncomfortable blind date and then realizing the guy isn’t for you. So if a guy pressures you to meet him right away, just say you aren’t sure yet when you’ll be free. Let him keep calling you and you’ll eventually get a good idea about his attitude on a lot of things very quickly. And if he passes the “Cheat Sheet Red Flag test”, then meet him with the positive attitude of knowing he has the potential of being a good partner for someone. And that someone might possibly be you. After all, wouldn’t you prefer to know before meeting a guy that he is cheap or a workaholic, than start dating him and finally realize it after months of dating? I know I wish I had.

So let’s get started:

The Cheat Sheet Test Red Flag #1: His Attitude about his Past Relationships with Women

You don’t need to know the details about how many women he’s dated since his divorce or how many women he’s had sex with since he left his wife, even though it would be nice to know. Most likely a guy will not want to talk about it or tell you the true details on the phone before he meets you (or possibly ever). But he will usually have something to say about his ex and why the marriage ended or why the relationship ended with his girlfriend. You must bring up the subject by asking him how long he was with his ex and why the relationship or marriage ended. Then sit back and LISTEN TO THE FIREWORKS DISPLAY! The most important thing is HIS ATTITUDE about the past women in his life. Does he act respectful towards his ex? Does he harbor angry feelings? Does he blame her for ruining his life? Does he show resentment towards her? Does he have the attitude that she was the one responsible for the marriage ending or she cheated on him? Does he have the attitude that he was a victim of her mean, cheating, unappreciative behavior? Does he own up to any part in the relationship failing? Does he refer to her using derogatory words like “bitch” or “slut”? Does he still have a good relationship with her if he shares custody of the kids with her? Another sign to look for is whether he is still emotionally attached to his ex. Does he talk about her endlessly by either talking about how much he dislikes/hates her; all the things she did to him; or can he not even bring up the subject of talking about her without looking like he’s going to implode? Some men are not emotionally over an ex, the pain or anger is deep within them and you will sense it. AVOID MEETING OR DATING GUYS LIKE THIS. If he has a healthy attitude about women and his ex, he may say very little but what he does say will sound respectful and he will act fine with the fact the relationship ended. He will not hold any grudges or harbor any ill will or deep rooted resentment and anger. When a man is narcissistic, with deep rooted anger issues towards women, he never owns up to his responsibility in a relationship or life in general. Sometimes a man is in a relationship where the woman cheats on him and he is a victim of her promiscuity, but even that kind of man is one you want to avoid. He still has intimacy issues with women. Most men who have anger towards an ex are often guilty of “objectifying” women. They see women as servants that are supposed to act and be a certain way; more as their possessions to control. The truth is: No one person ruins a marriage or a relationship. It takes a lot of work to make a marriage work and any man who blatantly sees his partner as the one to blame for everything that went wrong is someone who didn’t care about doing his part in being giving and caring in the relationship. Don’t fall for his “feel sorry for me I was a victim of a cold, selfish, uncaring, cheating wife”. And if he claims he never had sex with his wife in the marriage for years, he’s either lying or he’s been having affair(s) throughout his marriage.

Red Flag Item #2: His Attitude about Work and Play

You don’t need to know how many hours he works but you do need to know his attitude about being busy and his attitude about what he has going on in his life. Does he act like every minute of his day is booked with some important thing going on? Does he make time to spend talking to you and does he show an interest in your life? Is he calling you when he’s driving somewhere and only has a few minutes to converse with you before he reaches his destination?

Men who are workaholics are usually “busy drones” at home, always working on some project and never being free to talk to or relate to you because they are always involved in fixing or doing something. Avoid men who say they “work hard and play hard”, that’s just “workaholic justification” babble. If a guy has the ability to relax and enjoy life, you’ll know it by what he says to you when he has to get off the phone; does he have to get back to painting the bedroom or doing some chore? And can he plan meeting you in advance? If he is a workaholic he will also have commitment issues. Does he change the day or time last minute for your first meeting? Does he always seem hurried and busy? Does he always suggest you drop everything and meet him the night he calls you? Does he make you feel like you are taking up his precious time when you talk to him? It’s amazing that in our society today, so many men are addicted to work at work and at home, and we, as a culture, embrace it. But dating a guy who makes you feel like he’s honoring you with his time is not the kind of guy you will feel fulfilled dating. He will “never mentally and emotionally be there for you”. When you talk on the phone to guys like this, you will know it. You will feel it and sense it. Don’t let the temptation to be that “all important woman that he finally cares more about than all those other precious things he has scheduled in his life” make you want to meet him or date him. You will only be that one more thing on his “to do list”. AVOID MEETING OR DATING HIM.

Red Flag #3: His Attitude about Valuing the Things You Value in Your Life

This one is really important. Are you both on the same playing field in life? Is he on a completely different planet from you? Most men I’ve dated did not relate to me in terms of accepting my interests in life. I always changed who I was to be compatible with them in every relationship. And ultimately, when I just couldn’t take not being me anymore, the relationship ended. Can you be who you truly are with this guy? I believe every woman, when they talk to a guy, get’s a feeling in her gut, whether they can be who they are in a relationship with him or whether they would have to change something about their life or themselves to make the relationship work. You will know it, by talking to him, if he’s the type of guy who’ll ever be interested in what interest you in your life. Does he ask about something you told him on the 1st phone call on his 2nd phone call to you? If you had a cold, does he ask “how’s your cold?” Or, if you were going somewhere the day he called, does he ask whether you had a good time the 2nd time he calls you? If you want a guy who’ll remember your favorite clothing store when it’s your birthday and buy you something from that store, then you’ll have to listen to how much he pays attention to the things you tell him about your life. You’ll sense it when you talk to him if he is interested in knowing about you and your interests. You’ll know when you suggest a movie you want to see or a restaurant you want to go to and he’s enthusiastic about finding out the show times for your movie or mapquesting how to get to your restaurant pick.

You’ll know how much you are compatible by how he spends his days. You’ll know how much you will have to change your life to be compatible with his by what his hobbies are. Ask him what he likes to do and what his hobbies are. You will get the feeling that your lives can mesh beautifully just as they now are, or you will get the feeling that you would have to lower your standards, change your goals, live somewhere you don’t want to live, be with kids you don’t want to be with; accept things you truly morally can’t accept; or never get along on certain subjects by what he tells you about how he lives his life. Ask him his goals in life. You might be surprised to learn he plans to move out of state in 2 years. There are so many ways a guy can look good on paper, but if you have that feeling in your gut that you would have to change an important part of you to be compatible with him, then DON’T MEET OR DATE HIM.

Red Flag #4: His Attitude about Money

Another major thing to get a good gut feeling about is his attitude about  money. Many men have emotional anger issues related to money. They feel they don’t earn enough to feel self worth; they feel like failures because they didn’t succeed in the profession their father picked for them (and their father has reminded them about this ever since); they feel their ex financially stripped them of financial stability (she got the house lament); they pay child support and feel stripped financially by their ex wife and kids. Most men are open books about their negative attitude about their finances. They will complain about their hardships or make sarcastic jokes about it. Their anger issues with money are never well hidden; you will sense when something about their financial situation just isn’t sitting right with them “emotionally”.

It’s important for you to know what you want in a relationship with a man and to honor your needs and desires. Do you want a man who can offer you financial stability, who owns his own home and can afford to take you to nice restaurant and enhance your life financially? Or, are you okay with being the one paying for things because you are financially stable? Be honest with yourself and listen to a guy’s attitude about his financial situation. If you want someone who can add to or compliment your life, do not accept meeting or dating a guy who is driving a beat up old car, and barely has enough to pay the bills after he pays for child care. DON’T MEET OR DATE MEN WHO CANNOT GIVE YOU THE FINANCIAL LIFESTYLE YOU DESIRE. Love does not conquer all. When you try to make a relationship work with a man who has anger issues with money, who never wants to spend money living the kind of life you want to live; who doesn’t have your aspirations (because he doesn’t want to put his money towards those life goals); who doesn’t care about your needs and desires with money; you will be miserable witth him. If a guy has money issues, you will know it just by the attitude he has about money. And definitely do not date anyone who is separated and not divorced. Many a relationship can become strained by divorce, because divorce is costly and can often change a man’s financial situation overnight as well as his emotional state of mind.

Red Flag #5: His Attitude about Sex and Monogamy

Men looking for a sexual fling are open books. They will only focus on the physical with you; constantly complimenting you about your appearance; and bringing up the subject of your anatomy and sex into every conversation. It isn’t worth trying to find out how many sexual partners a guy like this has had since his divorce or whether you are one of 10 women he’s trying to date this week from that internet dating site. Guys like this will never be honest about their intentions. Guys only wanting a sexual relationship or guys with sex addictions (of which there are many) who are serial daters who date until they have sex with a woman and then move on, will call you every night until they finally get to meet you and have sex with you. They must meet you immediately and can never plan a date with you in advance (or if they do, they’ll change the date and time last minute). They are guys who want to see you the day they call you. Some women are turned on by these “bad boys” because they often appeal to a woman’s vanity by making her feel like they finally found the beautiful woman of their dreams. And they always lament how, “I just can’t find the right woman who understands me” to appeal to your codependent need to help them. The more they give you the impression they need to see you immediately and not let another day go by without glancing at your gorgeous face and eyes, the more they are looking to have a sexual fling. And the more they paint themselves as victims of selfish women who mistreated them and used them, the more they are narcissistically describing themselves. DON’T MEET OR DATE GUYS LIKE THIS.

Red Flag #6: His Attitude about his Hobbies and Addictions

Many men have addictions: addictions to work, addictions to drugs, addictions to alcohol, addictions too sex, addictions to an ex. And yes, so do women. But this is our cheat sheet, and for our cheat sheet to be successful, we can’t have the addictions we are trying to avoid in the men we date. I’ve already talked about sex and work addiction. If there is one thing that always contributes to the demise of a relationship, it’s an addiction. So how do you know in 2 conversations with the guy you’re considering dating has an addiction?

A lot of men hide their addictions to drugs and alcohol very well, especially on the phone. Of course you’ll know he’s had alcohol addiction when he can’t order a drink on the first date. But why wait till then to find that out he’s been an addict and you don’t want to date him? Some men even hide alcohol addiction well after dating you for several months until they get you emotionally dependent on them. Then suddenly they’ve had too much to drink in front of you and gone into an alcoholic rage. Wouldn’t it be great if you could weed out those guys that have alcohol and drug addiction before you even meet him? The good news is: yes you can.

The one thing about men with addictions is that: they all have “addictive personalities”. How do you know if the guy has an addictive personality? If he does he will often have a serious obsession with doing some kind of hobby, or be obsessed about fantasizing about a goal in his life that he does things to plan for (like reading real estate for hours on end because one day he wants to buy a house down the shore). The point is, he takes a hobby or interest and brings it to the level of an obsession. So listen to the things he used to enjoy doing or is now doing with his life. How much did it or does it control his world? Ask him all about his hobbies. If he seems obsessively into something that he can’t seem to stop talking about doing, (and he will expect you to change your life to conform to the demands that his obsessive hobby makes on him), he usually has an addictive personality and possibly even more serious addictions, such as a sex addiction, work addiction, or alcohol/drug addiction. Guys like this will one day be obsessed with body building and the next day they will have a business project they obsessively spend time on and then that will disappear and they will become addicted to making miniature planes. Guys with addictive personalities do not hide their obsession from you.They talk about them constantly and fondly recollect past ones. DO NOT MEET OR DATE MEN WITH OBSESSIVE HOBBIES OR ADDICTIONS.

Red  Flag #7: His Attitude about his Kids

I have met many men on the internet whose entire social world consists of doing things with their children from a past marriage. You may be telling yourself, once he dates me he’ll spend time with me and his kids will take a back seat. The answer is no. If a man constantly talks to you about his kids and when you ask him what he did that week you realize that his social life consisted of taking his children shopping, you are always going to compete with his children for his love. A man with a healthy relationship with their kids also has friends he spends time with and does things with. Some men will give you a feeling in your gut that their daughter has become a substitute companion replacing their wife (in an emotional, not sexual way). DO NOT MEET OR DATE MEN LIKE THIS

Red Flag #8: His Attitude about Himself and his Life in General

There are happy men who love life, and then there are men who are angry, unhappy and miserable about their life. When you talk to a guy, you will know in your gut which kind he is. Men who are happy with life and themselves never complain about their “bad luck” and “misfortunes”. They find humor in things and they have an optimistic point of view. They don’t make sarcastic comments about life or people, such as, “My daughter came over the other day and took hold of my wallet again”. Guys who like life, like themselves and will be able to like you and make life a happy experience for you are guys who don’t seem to have a black cloud of bad luck that’s always following them in life. When a guy has that cloud of bad luck, it’s because he mentally brings it into his reality. You will know in your gut if you are talking to a happy guy who sees life with the glass half full or a guy who sees life with the glass always half empty. You will know when a guy carries that black cloud because there is impending doom in every aspect of his life: his job is on the line, he lost money, his friend swindled him, his car just broke down, he just had another fight with his brother, he just got another speeding ticket, etc. MEET THOSE GLASS HALF FULL GUYS.

The point to the Cheat Sheet is this: you have to believe that you deserve to be discerning. Exposure to lots of guys through the internet is fine, but dating lots of them until you just happen to click with one of them is a lesson in futility. You have the right to screen guys on the phone to make sure they don’t have the kind of attitude that will make you miserable being with them. You have to stop listening to those well intentioned friends and relatives who say to you, “just meet him, stop worrying about whether he is right for you, just give him a chance”. The pressure to just have someone to date to make everyone around you happy won’t be easy to avoid. But it’s because women buckle to that pressure that so many are in unfulfilling relationships that ultimately end. We must be selective about who we date. We deserve to date a guy without anger issues who has a positive attitude about his life. We must tell the universe we don’t want to spend our life with anyone who gives us that bad feeling in our gut. We must stop caring about having no one to date. We must allow the right guy into our life by not wasting time with the wrong one. So screen guys on the phone and be very selective. It’s your life’s happiness that’s at stake and that happiness is something you truly deserve.

For more relationship advice on dating men www.isthistruelove.com [http://www.isthistruelove.com/].

Beth Cofone

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/expert/Beth_Cofone/233704

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/1718252

Massage in Bucharest

Recognize it! You’re busy! And so must be! That’s what life is like! But you want more than that, you want to do more for yourself and massage can help. Because massage makes more than a simple relaxation of the mind and body. It keeps your body in shape and gives you enough energy to make you enjoy a longer life better than you do it today.

Massage releases stress. At the moment, stress is a universal evil. Every time you are late, every time you avoid a car in traffic, every time you have trouble working, stress is doing his job. Each time adrenaline increases heart rate and cortisone levels and organs respond to the measure. You will be in a state of nerves and constant agitation.
When there is no release of stress, serious problems such as an upset stomach, hypertension, sleep disturbances, chest pain, or existing illness may worsen.

Some of the changes that may occur are: Anxiety, lack of concentration, depression, permanent fatigue, muscle or bone pain, sexual dysfunction, excessive sleep or insomnia

All these stress-related problems can be diminished and some can be totally eliminated by massage. The researchers concluded that a massage session can lower heart rate and blood pressure, relax your muscles and increase endorphin production. The massage also releases serotonin and dopamine and the result is a general relaxation, both physical and mental.
Our body care must be at the top of the priorities.
By adding the massage to your routine you will look much better and you will be much healthier and relaxed. Massage can improve your vitality and mood. Massage can prepare for a long and beautiful life.

Our masseuses personalize each massage session according to the needs of the individual.
Our massage parlors offer a variety of relaxation styles and techniques to help you. Apart from relaxing, massage can be a powerful ally in reducing pain, increasing energy levels, improving mental and physical performance

We recommend : HotAngels , VipZone , JadePalace , ThaiPassion

After a massage session, you will see how the mental prospects are enriched, the body allows easier handling, better pressure resistance, relaxation and mental alertness, calm and creative thinking.
When you have the impression or force yourself to stay straight, your body is not actually aligned properly. Not only does the posture look bad, but it forces some of the muscles to go muddy all day, while others become weaker. After a long time, the incorrect position may cause other drops. For example, internal organs press on what affects digestion, breathing ability is also diminished, which means that much less blood and oxygen reaches the brain and hence all sorts of other complications.

Massage allows you to return your body to the track. Allowing the body to make healthy and accurate movements is one of the greatest benefits of massage. Massage can relax and restore muscles injured by bad posture, allowing the body to position itself in a natural, painless position.
Apart from posture, there is also anxiety. One of the signs of anxiety and stress can also be heavy breathing. When the body begins to breathe too little and deeply instead of breathing at a natural rithm, it is impossible for one to relax. One reason may also be that the chest muscles and the abdomen get tightened and the air gets harder.

Massage plays an important role in learning the body how to relax and how to improve breathing. Respiratory problems such as allergies, sinuses, asthma or bronchitis are a group of conditions that can benefit from massage. In fact, massage can have a positive impact on respiratory function.

Many of the muscles in the front and back of the upper part of the body are breathing accessory. When these muscles are tight and shorten they can block normal breathing and interrupt effective breathing natural rithm. Massage techniques for stretching and relaxing these muscles improves breathing function and breathability. Massage leads to an opening of the chest as well as structural alignment and nerve dilatation that are required for optimal pulmonary function. A good way to treat respiratory problems with massage is the taping made in Swedish massage. When done on the back, along with vibrations, it can detach the mucus from the lungs and can clean the airways for better later function.

Massage not only relaxes muscles, but helps people become aware of daily stress levels. Once the body recognizes what really means relaxation, the mind can rest easily relax before the stress becomes cornice and harmful. This will help you enjoy a balanced life. Massage controls breathing, allows the mind to re-create relaxation before the occurrence of chronic and harmful stress and increases the level of energy.